Finding Your Magic Beyond Assumptions - August Newsletter
Hello Beautiful Beings,
I’m gearing up to attend two pagan festivals back to back. Bags are being packed, and 40+ tarot and oracle decks are in 4 makeup bags or lunchboxes ready for the in-person version of “Choosing and Connecting with Tarot and Oracle Decks” (recorded version here). I’ll be leaving a third of my bags (and most of my decks) behind in Maryland before continuing onto Queer Spirit Festival in Devon (England), and it’s interesting that amidst my event attending that I find myself still nervous based on my experience of gender.
In Casting a Queer Circle: Non-Binary Witchcraft by Thista Minai, I argued that:
“Magical practices and traditions do not always create safe and encouraging spaces for everyone to tie into energy, magic, passion, and purpose. To connect with their spirit, or feed their faith. Whether they fall outside of a gender binary experience or a heterosexual framework, various pagan traditions create an unconscious (or occasionally conscious) hostility.”
At FSG there are some women’s only events. These are incredibly important, because peer-based spaces create the safety needed to explore the things that only those who have lived certain experiences can discuss. It is what has made discussions of trans experience so volatile in pagan spaces and the world at large. It’s not just about bodies. It is about what people have lived.
What’s funny is that not all women have lived a single women’s experience. Women who love women, as teens, had a very different experience in locker rooms than women/teens who did not have that journey. The same goes for fat girls, Black girls in majority white schools, disabled girls, and other girls who did not fit a story of white straight, cisgender, non-disabled experience.
In pagan spaces specifically, this came to a head in 2011 at Pantheacon where literal guards were placed at the door to a women’s only ritual to make sure that no transgender women entered. This is of course absurd as it means that only women who did not read as cisgender (not-transgender) needed to “prove” themselves while others simply went by the guards. This led to the anthology Gender and Transgender in Modern Paganism being being put together, which was a great early book on the topic, but it highlighted an issue that happened for years in some areas (but not all), and still exists to this today.
There are women’s only events at Queer Spirit Festival too, and yet my body relaxes somewhat because there are trans/non-binary-only rituals too. It doesn’t resolve the topic for women who happen to have complex gender histories and don’t resolve the topic for men who happen to have complex gender histories. And yet, the visibility of men’s, women’s, and trans/non-binary events and spaces changes it up. I believe Queer Spirit takes the stance that all women are women and all men are men.
I was called by the producers at Free Spirit Gathering about whether I was okay still being a highlighted presenter at the event. I blinked, as they never want to call on short notice. I don’t see an issue, why? Apparently one of their staff had forwarded some material about the notion of separating LGB from T, Q, and/or + in the notions of LGBTQ+. I read through the work, had my feels both of the “I get the argument” side and the “fck you fcking f*ck” side. I took a breath though and realized that FSG was reaching out to see what they could do. They decided on doing a statement of support for all sides of the LGBTQ+ communities, noting their belief, then putting their energy towards it not just doing lip-service.
“It is time for the world to move beyond the notion that the chalice and the blade are the only path to fertile connection and creation. The world deserves more flavors than one, even if that flavor is one that many folks can and should still use if it calls to them. It is time for each of us to craft our own queer circles, with queer not just entailing an orientation or a gender experience in this case, but a step beyond the expected – for what is magic after all but a harnessing of our own will using intention, attention, and aligned actions or ritual?“
So it becomes time to do real actions in our support of queerness on all levels. Queerness in our magic. Queerness in our politics that don’t have to always draw assumed “lines.” Queerness in our cultures. Queerness in the deities we worship or find inspiration from.
Deities?
Absolutely! Xochiquetzal protects women who love women and Xochipilli protects men who love men. Antinous was raised to godhood by Emperor Hadrian, his lover. Mohini is the female avatar of Vishnu. Tu Er Shen is the safeguard of homosexual affection. Loki shapeshifted and gave birth to Sleipnir. Obatala is the sacred mother/father.
Even some monotheistic practitioners look at their divine not as being a male form (using he/him pronouns), but instead as non-gendered (using no pronoun), multi-gendered (alternating between pronouns), or female (using she/her pronouns). How might your practices, and your look upon the world, change if something as seemingly simple as pronouns be reflected differently in the divine you cherish?
For those who are atheistic, consider this instead under the notion of assumed leadership. Try queering the assumption of doctor, lawyer, president, police officer, military member, or other roles of power into she/her. It might seem like you do, but unconscious patriarchy has wired a lot of us into certain assumptions.
Let’s try some queering. In doing so, we can explore our magic.
I look forward to seeing folks in person this month, but also online as we Awaken The Ruby Pentacle, learn about Trans Awareness & Playing With Trans* Folks, figure out how we each Determine Our Risk Profiles, and play with Dark Roleplaying.
Much love,
Lee
Lee's Resources
Please enjoy additional resources for self-care, aftercare, and integration
Watch a reel on Xochiquetzal and Xochipilli (The Pride Month Gods)
Read Elder Queer poem by Shane Rooks (written in response to Matthew Vines' article “I’m Gay, Not Queer. It Matters.”)
Embody your choices with The Magic of Choice by Dianne Weisselberg, MSW
You are the only person who can love yourself wholly and completely. Don’t rely on others to fill that space.
- Cynthia Occelli
What you're missing over on Patreon
In the past few weeks, I have had a chance to connect with my Patrons regularly through:
Private Rope Class Joy (reflection on teaching)
Littles Altar Tour (video altar tour)
The Art of Rope Bondage Modeling (tips and tricks)
Respecting Those in the Shadow (essay)
Hypnosis Audio Class Recording (audio class recording)
Podcast Appearances
Essence Podcast with Ben Stimpson
Lee Harrington talks about Become Your Own Beloved and his own journey of learning to accept and connect with himself. The conversation explores how our past, our ancestors, our culture, and our communities all shape who we are. Lee also shares how simple practices like reflection and creating meaningful rituals can help us get to know ourselves better.
Passion and Soul Podcast - Music, Spirit and Coming from the Heart with SJ Tucker
Finally sharing “meat space” with an old friend, Lee Harrington sits down for a heartwarming and thoughtful interview with the beacon of love, SJ Tucker. They look at finding people on the same frequency, sharing the hard parts of our heart and dreaming bigger with those that inspire you. Sooj shares some of the power voices of the spirit music scene that will lift you up and sway your being, while together they dance through the idea that we can rise together as a world through collaboration rather than competition, while helping the world be big and bold and bright.
"Inclusive Wicca is not for people who want to stay safe and cosy in their heteronormative cisgender worldview, pretending that oppression is not happening and that racism is a thing of the past. Being inclusive means becoming aware of others’ pain, and supporting the oppressed and the marginalised. It means doing some work to make your rituals inclusive and healing for everyone..."
-Yvonne Aburrow
Upcoming Appearances
I have a number of exciting upcoming classes and events!
Negotiating Well With Others... and Yourself!
August 1st |
1:15-3:30p MDT, 3:15-5:30p EDT, 12:15-2:30 PDT
Denver TNG
*Online ONLY* Worldwide
At every turn, erotic adventurers are encouraged to know their needs and limits, express them to partners, and negotiate! negotiate! negotiate! It is common to feel overwhelmed and uncertain how or where to begin, what to bring up, or what to focus on – even for the most extroverted pervert. Let’s take an opportunity to use negotiation as foreplay, self-exploration, and a road map to our most intimate fantasies, and then come back to developing our skills for negotiating with others, whether for play or within relationships. There are so many approaches to negotiation we can take! Remember, negotiation is a practice and takes practice – none of us are perfect at it straight out of the gate. New, experienced, shy, outgoing, top, or bottom; everyone can benefit from the skills and ideas explored in this class.
Free Spirit Gathering
August 4-9th |
N. Maryland
Free Spirit Gathering (FSG) is an annual, week-long, Pagan festival that offers workshops, rituals, and other activities. FSG is open to people of all ages and backgrounds who are interested in exploring Pagan spirituality and culture, including drumming and dancing, meditation and yoga, art and crafts, and discussions on various aspects of Paganism and spirituality. There are also daily rituals and ceremonies that are open to all attendees.
Overall, Free Spirit Gathering is a vibrant and inclusive celebration of Pagan spirituality and culture. It offers a supportive and welcoming space for individuals to explore their spirituality and connect with like-minded people in a beautiful natural setting. I will be there teaching Teaching “Arcane D/s,” “Honoring Our Ancestors of Love,” “Choosing & Connecting with Divination Decks,” “Queerness of Magic,” and leading a Ritual Hike.
Queer Spirit Festival
August 13-17th
Devon, England
Queer Spirit festival is a gathering place for spiritually minded LGBTQI+ people and our allies from all races, all genders, all sexualities, all ages. 750 people attended the fifth Queer Spirit Festival in 2024 for 4 days of workshops, ceremonies, fire circles, performances, djs and communion with nature and queer community. We set out to be inclusive, intersectional and inter-generational – to celebrate the creativity, healing gifts and natural magic of Queer people from all cultures of planet Earth.
Queer Spirit is a cauldron of self-discovery and community growth. Come with open mind and with the willingness to open your heart – Queer Spirit will take you through the veils to the place of LOVE. I will be there teaching “Sexy Safer Sex,” “Elemental Bondage,” “Sacred Kink,” “The Magic of Queerness and Queerness of Magic,” and assisting with rituals.
Awakening The Ruby Pentacle Ritual
August 29th | 11a-1p MDT | 10a-12p PDT | 1-3p EDT
Patreon (Not Recorded)
In Feri tradition, the pentacles are powerful tools for finding ourselves in alignment with our journey in the world, and with our calling on this planet. The Ruby (or Leather) Pentacle calls us to find alignment with the resonances of Honor - Integrity - Discipline - Responsibility - Purpose. These are the core Work of the Ruby Pentacle, and you are called to awaken its vital energy within your being, or recharge yourself for your Work and Bliss ahead in this learning ritual and astral energetic modification experience.
Trans Awareness & Playing With Trans* Folks
August 29th
Wicked Grounds
Online Worldwide
There are a lot of words out there for gender, sex, and sexuality nowadays. It can feel frustrating or even hurtful when we don’t know how to connect with our trans, non-binary, or non-trans partners about our desires – let’s build our skills for more excellent kink, play, and sex as gender diverse individuals! Join us as we dive in to look at definitions, disclosure, desire, discussions to have, and how to explore this gumbo pot of identity and expression. The assumptions around gender need a lot of work. What are our sexual and gender myths and truths? What do we want to do with our bodies? How do you play with folks who are going through these journeys? Because you know what? We are ALL on a gender journey. Let’s get analytical, let’s get sexy, and let’s open our hearts as we (re)think gender.
Determining Your Risk Profile
August 30th | 5-7 MDT | 4-6 PDT | 7-9 EDT |
Let It Reign
Online Worldwide
The world is full of risks, but each of us have different levels of willingness, capacity, and interest in taking the risks we might come across in our life. The same is true in our erotic and kinky pursuits. In this class we will look at what a risk profile is and how to decide what choices we might feel comfortable with around physical risks, legal repercussions, emotional fallout, potential psychological damage, (mis)communication possibilities, and the effects some play can have on our relationships. From Gambler’s Fallacy and trauma bonding to altered states and the disproportionate effects risks can have on some populations, this will be a wild ride. Though open to all attendees, buckle in as we will be discussing a variety of “edge play” activities as well as things people might consider immoral, illegal, inappropriate, dubious, and dangerous.
Dark Roleplaying
August 31st 11a-1p MDT | 7-9p CEST | 1-3p EDT |
Karada House
Online Worldwide
We have been “playing pretend” since we were young, but kinky sexuality opens up new and potentially taboo forms of roleplaying. Join us as we explore the shadowy realms of our fantasies and make-believe we can try on: abduction, torture, snuff, fantastical creatures, and anything else our twisted minds can dream up.
Additional upcoming classes and events include
September 15, 2026 – Teaching “Arcane D/s: Energetic Feeding and Conscious Inequality” – Wicked Grounds – Online Worldwide
September 24, 2026 – Teaching “Self-Care, During-Care, and Aftercare for Educators” – Passion and Soul Patreon – Online Worldwide
September 29, 2026 – Teaching “Primal Play” – Karada House – Online Worldwide [Europe evening]
October 1-4, 2026 – Teaching “What’s Leather Got to Do With It,” “GenderQueer Bondage,” “Finding Your Power: The 12 Sides of D/s,” and leading the “Whole Unto Yourself” ritual – Fornucopia – N. Maryland
October 8-18, 2026 – Teaching and vending – Oz Kink Fest – Melbourne, Australia
October 23-25, 2026 – Teaching classes – Dark Odyssey: Surrender – San Jose, California
October 28, 2026 – Teaching “Erotic Pain Processing” – Karada House – Online Worldwide [Europe evening]
October 29, 2026 – Teaching “Dark Roleplaying” – Wicked Grounds – Online Worldwide
To check out all my further scheduled classes and intensives throughout the year (and more being added regularly), visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. I also have upcoming events in Maryland, England, Australia, and on an array of online platforms and conferences. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me on Patreon where I share weekly resources, monthly classes, and more :)
Much love to you all and see you soon!
Yours in Passion and Soul,
Lee Harrington
http://www.PassionAndSoul.com
