Transforming Fear into Hope for a Trans-Inclusive Future - March Newsletter
Beautiful Beings,
My heart is full of a mix of emotions. Tariffs are going to affect the worldwide economy and my heart aches for folks I know around the globe and stateside, and at home I am going today to protest a summit here in the Denver area that espouses to be "protecting kids from gender affirming care." Meanwhile, I have put down the deposit on a house and am dreaming big for having a space my communities can gather. It's a constant up and down, systemic toxicity side by side with beloveds supporting one another.
Dealing with the next chapter of my life, spending funds left behind from my mother's estate (who died before she ever got to purchase her own home), my partner and I have had our former names come up time and again over the past month. This comes side by side with a country that delivers the wrong pronouns, the wrong truths. Known sometimes as "deadname," my former name is highly gendered. Having my passport rolled back to a gender that has not been on my paperwork for 17+ years would be dangerous for travel, for living. I got to house someone fleeing Texas as their own documents were being made invalid recently. Colorado has become a safer haven for transgender people, including a project called the TransContinental Pipeline that is helping fund people leaving dangerous states (perhaps you can help support them by clicking on the image).
I was supposed to do a training for a dungeon last week. They had a situation arise where staff misgendered non-binary folks, saying effectively that being non-binary does not exist. The training had to be postponed... but I thought I would share some of what I wrote to their staff and volunteer team to tide over until the training happens in a month or so. It is something that will apply to so many groups out there I think:
I will miss y'all tonight. Thank you all so much for polling to figure out rescheduling. Three resources in the meantime, and even just the 1st one if that is all you have time for -
Transgender Primer -https://www.passionandsoul.com/blog/faq/transgender-primer
"Report Reveals Sharp Rise in Transgender Young People in the U.S." - https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/10/science/transgender-teenagers-national-survey.html
"About 5% of young adults in the U.S. say their gender is different from their sex assigned at birth" - https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/06/07/about-5-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-say-their-gender-is-different-from-their-sex-assigned-at-birth/
A quote from the 2nd one that is key = “The harsh reality is we don’t have trans elders because they didn’t survive.” I bring this up as the bulk of the team [at your play space] are over 30. Between your peers not having terminology access growing up (All I first knew was that trans women were for shock TV and that was all that existed as someone born in the late 70s) and that so many trans folks have been murdered, abused, died of AIDS, ended their own life from it being so hard... you might only know a handful of trans folks or only know binary trans folks (trans women and trans men). The younger your group starts to move, the larger the percentage of members will have had access to diverse language (agender, non-binary, genderqueer, et al), or simply be alive (what a blessing, and let's keep that true through helping them have supportive spaces).
This is your chance to do better by your group, bit by bit. I believe in you. This is your chance to not just yourselves do better, but help each other level up as a collective. You and the folks [at your dungeon] all deserve excellence.
The above image is from a Vox article that broke down issues as laid out all the way back in February of what was affecting trans youth... and the list has kept growing. It's hard to breathe some days. And then...
Unabashed. The queer kink group in Denver hosted a party and there was so much beauty. So much love. So much play. So much gratitude.
I breathed in the leather and hope, had beautiful conversations and sweet hugs mixed in with the pervery around me. Suddenly, being transgender was simply what it was. I was respected. Appreciated. Seen.
Then Transgender Day of Visibility. People telling their stories. People holding up a sign that says "you are not alone."
I'm crying writing this. It's all so much. So much challenge, so much love, all at once.
So I will protest. So I will spend time with family in Sedona for Passover. So I will cry. So I will dream a new home/space for my world to thrive. So I will go to KinkFest in Portland to run a Roleplaying Intensive (tickets still available for the intensive but the event is sold out). So I will curl up with my partner, my dogs, my friends, my beloveds, myself - and let the world be complex.
I’m curious though – what are you doing to stay connected? To be inspired? To take action? To keep your energy up? Let’s share ideas with each other!
Much love,
Lee
Lee's Resources
Please enjoy additional resources for inspiration, joy, and possibility:
Listen to Queer mysteries and Leather ancestors on the Bespoken Bones podcast
Build skills with The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook
Spend some time coloring your love to yourself with the Trans Self-Care Workbook
Attend Reclaiming our Pleasure Rights: Exploring Sexuality for Trans* Folk and Their Lovers (Patreon, June 24) or Authenticity in Identity, Gender & Sexuality (Omega Institute, June 13-15 - a great place to explore your own identity)
"You are enough just as you are." - Meghan Markle
What you're missing over on Patreon
In the past few weeks, I have had a chance to connect with my Patrons regularly through:
Going Emotionally Organic (essay)
Joseph, Asenath, Pharaoh, and the Joy/Work of Interfaith Connection (essay)
Tarot Spreads for Politics and Rage (resource)
Turning Ties Inward Handout (handout and essay)
PolyTheism Podcast
A discussion on "The Spiritual Joy of Kink," my faith across my lifetime, and how kink communities intersect in my faith practices.
Desert Violet
A throwback to the release of "Traversing Gender" discussing the book and gender journeys.
Upcoming Appearances
I have a number of exciting upcoming classes and events!
Kink and Disabilities
Sir, Yes Sir! Exploring Protocols
Teaching “Humor and Sex,” “Exploring Protocols for D/s Dynamics,” “Love Languages for Alternative Communities",” and leading a Role-Playing intensive
Cutting and Kink
Self-Love is Not Enough
To check out all my further scheduled classes and intensives throughout the year (and more being added regularly), visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. I also have upcoming events in Portland, Denver, Tulsa, New York, and on an array of online platforms and conferences. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me on Patreon where I share weekly resources, monthly classes, and more :)
Much love to you all and see you soon!
Yours in Passion and Soul,
Lee Harrington
http://www.PassionAndSoul.com
