PS028 - Path of Rhythm

Jan 26

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Episode: https://shows.acast.com/660e243b2f834f0017de9181/episodes/660e2440acbcaf00174d9944

My January Podcast is Live! Canes, paddles, floggers, and bare hands beating out a pattern on the flesh. Lee takes us on a journey into the heartbeat of the earth through desire, passion and connection, and then winds his way into how music ties us into our kink. Preparing for the Sacred Kink Initiatory Intensive in February, he reflects on rhythm scenes, and how when we do impact play, we leave an impact on the lives we live. All music from this sensual and percussive episode is brought to you by the amazing S.J. Tucker.

[music intro]
Announcer:
Welcome to Erotic Awakening, an exploration of all things erotic. Every Thursday, your hosts Dan and dawn share with you their experience and insights on kink, power exchange, and erotic life, as well as bring you interviews with exciting people from various lifestyles. Then every Monday, you'll hear from our various guest hosts. These nationally-known educators bring a variety of experience to the mics and share with you an ever-increasing diverse world of alternative life.
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Lee:
Hello, fellow adventurers of sexuality and spirit, and welcome to Erotic Awakening with Lee Harrington.
I am delighted by percussion. By the rhythm of the heartbeat - beat, beat, beat - that feeling of leather hitting my skin over and over again, the cane whip striking against our skin. Percussion is an amazing tool, and it's what I want to talk about this month here on Erotic Awakening.
I'm fascinated by the fact that so many different forms of kink, and sex in general, are fueled by this amazing heartbeat rhythm of desire. Heartbeat…rhythm…of…desire.
How many of you at home have ever had a chance to lay back and feel your lover enter you, over and over and over again, or you pumping into them, over and over and over again?
I met one of my best friends years ago at a role-playing game convention, of all things. Somebody I adore very, very deeply. We were downstairs playing a Vampire LARP, live-action role-playing game, dressed up in our black gothic finery. And we both went up in the elevator to our hotel floor, to the hotel rooms.
And we're in the elevator, kind of looking at each other, and smiling, and talking a little bit about the game, and we get off at the same floor. And he looks over at me and goes, “Oh, you're on this floor as well.” And I said, yeah. And we start walking down the same hallway. And he looks over at me and goes, “Same hallway.” And I said, yep.
And we get to the doorway, and he walks up to his door and I walk up to mine and he looks over at me and says, “So, uh, who's the one with the great rhythm?” And I said, “That would probably be me.” Because the night before, my lover and I had been pounding the headboard perfectly in time. My fingers and cock up his ass, perfectly in time. Because I was rocking him into his heartbeat, rocking him into his body. And apparently, the person next door not only didn't mind, but appreciated it.
I'm fascinated by the fact that we, as human beings, understand that heartbeat is so important. Understand that rhythm is so important. That there are so many things in our life that are rhythm.
We can play really fast, go-go-go-go-go-go-go! And it's a little bit on the frantic side. It's a lot on the frantic side.
[tapping rhythmically] We can hit… in… time… moving… out… our… bodies [trails off]... That long… slow… flow.
Percussion comes in so many forms in kink expression, though. It is floggers, canes, paddles. It is bare hands, tracing their way slowly down the body, with a finger stroke winding its way from one shoulder blade to the other, a serpent back and forth across the spine, ending at the tailbone. And then winding its way back up in the opposite path, up to the back of the neck, up across the head, and down to the crown.
Bare hands, gloved hands, latex-clad hands, finding their ways… into holes… of all sorts, including the holes of our hearts.
There are tools that are possibilities there, that are built for percussion, built for rhythm, built for beat, built for impact.
But one of the amazing things about the word “impact” is it's not just an impact to the skin. It's not just a hit. It is an impact upon someone's life. When we leave an impact, we impact someone. We impact someone.
Rhythm takes on a form of breath [breathes in] breathing in and out [breathes out]. In [breathes in] and out [breathes out]. It is breath breathing in and out, at the same time as our loved one. Breathing out as they breathe in, creating a cycle, a circle, a dialysis of desire that pumps through us, pumps through us, over and over and over again.
We find rhythm when we pull upon ropes and bondage. When we tie ropes and bondage. Wrists bound, I wrap around, wrap around, spin and turn your body, wrap around. Grab, twist, hitch, pull, through the elbow, grab the other side, and wing… my… way… back, rope pulling against… skin.
It is the beat. It is the heart. It is the earth. It is us. Eyes staring into eyes as music… pumps… out. As music… pumps… out.
Have you ever noticed that some songs in a dungeon are just discordant? Absolutely discordant because they have no rhythm, or they have a rhythm that is not what you're trying to convey in the message to the one before you.
I am trying to convey a message to you. I am trying to convey a message to you.
[song: “We are Shangri-la” by S.J. Tucker - rapid percussion underlying ethereal folk-rock with multi-voiced vocals]
Lee:
If I am trying to convey a message to you when we play, I might choose different music. I might choose something slow and sensual, that beats out the music and message that I want. If I want something frenetic and sensual and passionate, I will choose something different, that elicits that response in the core of my body, that aches… me… out… to you and through you.
[song: “Hymn to Herne” by S.J. Tucker - vocals underlaid with drums in an alternating fast-slow pattern]
Lee:
There are choices made here in our bodies. There are choices made here in how I want to communicate to you my desires. One of the amazing things about being able to spin our own music mixes when we are doing scenes that involve rhythm - which I would encourage us to think of as all scenes - is that I get to paint the picture ahead of time of what I want to communicate to you.
Are we hard and fast? Are we seductive and slow? Do we beat out to a Mediterranean rhythm? Or is there something inside us that is slow… and… sensual? Are we hard rock music lovers?! Or is there something else going on, that dances the disco night away?
I think there's a lot of possibility here that we don't always discuss. And it's problematic, for me, when I go into a public play space and it's the same friggin’ Enya and Nine Inch Nails played on repeat, over and over and over again. I think we deserve to have music in our play spaces that actually communicates some sort of message, some sort of mission.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the ultimate DJ in any way, shape or form. Please, no. Trust me, it was incredibly hard for me the years I had to DJ for ShibariCon. Tough! But I think there's something that happens here, when we play with rhythm, and when we play with music that has a message.
I remember Mollena Williams talking about how she went to a play party once, and it was exactly that. The same music playing over and over and over again. And what was worse? The same music, the same exact tracks, in the same exact order - because it was the same exact CDs, being played over and over and over again. Party to party.
That can be a total energy drain. A total energy drain, because at the end of the day, you know what's coming next, and if we know exactly what's coming next, it might - for some people - be comforting. But for others, it's just a bore.
So I really encourage those of us who are playing to really think about what's happening in our public play spaces. What's the last time we mixed it up? When is the last time that we took a moment, and put out a call for potential music? When's the last time we reexamined our play styles and what we're looking to create?
When I do professional domination, and as a note, for the pro-doms listening, I'm sorry, I'm about to reveal a trade secret. But I put music together on a playlist so I know what the flow is going to be. So I know that I'm doing a two-hour session, and over the course of it, I want to be able to go in slow, smooth, and sensual. I'm going to ramp up to something a little bit more passionate. I'm going to go down a little bit, back up. And then as I'm starting to come down, both at the peak of that second peak, and when I'm coming down, I know what the songs are. And it lets me know what my pacing is going to be. It gives me an idea, if I am time-limited to be able to give something beautiful, something memorable, something exquisite.
And when we talk about percussion and play, when we talk about caning, and paddling, and flogging, we're talking about creating that rhythm - even if the music isn't present, because our bodies become drums. Our bodies become the music. When we are fucking, when everything else is silent, our bodies become the music.
We are the music. We are the delicious instruments of desire. Let my moans… echo… out and lay a bassline. Let my thighs open up and create an opportunity to welcome in every note you have to play. I am hungry for you. I am hungry for this potential. We are beating out potential.
And when I say beating out, in this case, I am not talking about removing from. Perhaps, instead, I should say I am beating in. I am beating into you - potential. I am beating into you - desire. I am beating into you a message, that is so much clearer, and so much more rich, than anything that was ever beat into you in the past.
The words “beat into you” have become held down, weighed down, by the times that they were used in our youth. “I will beat this message into you, boy! Do I have to beat this into you?”
It's terrifying. It's scary. It is the shadow work of our hearts.
This is the shadow work of our hearts.
When we look at the shadow working of our beings, of our essence, it makes sense, this concept, that we are drawn towards tools of impact that have left an impact upon our lives. The bare hands that spanked us, the belt that came off of their waist, was folded over, and that snap echoed and echoed into us.
[whips belt three times, buckle rattling]
It's a sound we can't forget. It's a tone we can't forget.
And for myself, that applies for desire as well. That noise of a cane whipping through the air, and landing against my skin. [sighs lovingly] That perfect, perfect sound.
These are the rhythms of our life. This is the music of where we've danced. And not all music is beautiful.
Not all impact play, though, has to be about intensity. It's one of the sorrows I see when people talk about flogging, and caning, and singletails. There’s this misperception, this assumption that that it has to be hard, that you're not a real bottom if you don't somehow take those 40 full-force running stroke canes where somebody ran 40 feet and delivered it into you. Where blood flew. That somehow you're not a real bottom unless you did those things.
This myth that you're not a “real top” if you're not hardcore. Sometimes we're not hardcore and it's okay. And sometimes we're never hardcore. And not only is it okay, but it's delicious!
Why should we have to leave a mythology that all sex is the same, and enter into a new mythology that all sex is the same? Haven't we learned our lesson here yet? I want to live a new mythology that says that we can live out all of the different rhythms of our desires. One where we can be slow and sensual, one that says that we can be [speaks quickly] the quickening heart, quickening heart, quickening heart… of our truths and needs.
[song: “Firebird’s Child” by S.J. Tucker - beginning section, solo vocals underlaid with handclaps, drums and additional vocals adding in]
Lee:
Your heartbeat quickens mine. My heartbeat quickens yours. And as my flails, my floggers, my cat of nine tails beats down against your body over and over and over again - I feel you rise your ass up, raise your ass up, rise up the tempo of your body, rise up the tempo of your heart, of your spirit. And I want to be here and now. I am here and now. I am here! I'm here with you.
I'm here with you and the world falls away…and people ask why. People ask “why” and I say instead, it is because the heart calls to us. It is because spirit calls to us, it is because music calls to us. And humankind has been making music for time immemorial. Time immemorial.
As far back as we have record, there are drums. There are rocks on rocks. There are hands clapping out.
I remember going to a kink conference once, and on perfect cue, on perfect cue with one another, on perfect rhythm with one another, in time with one another, was a group of individuals who - there was a bottom. The bottom was there and she was the drum. And it started off with one person playing on her ass. A spanking, if you will. And then a second set of hands became drumming on her back. A second set of hands turned into a third, turned into a fourth, and she became a perfect drum for four players. Playing out that rhythm over and over again. They played out the music of their hearts.
“The firebird flying, I am the firebird, I am his daughter, and like the flames I grow higher, higher, higher.” Perfect words by the beautiful S.J. Tucker.
When I think of that, though, I think of a scene that I did a number of years ago, but that was more of a performance. And it was bondage, it wasn't percussion, per se. It wasn't the tools that we think of, at least, of percussion, but it was ropes pulling in time with ropes. And I bound my partner up, I strung my partner up in these amazing ropes. I pulled them up into the air, we flipped and twisted and turned.
And as I flipped them back from being upside down to being up, face up, face towards the sky, swinging and pushing, pulling and pushing, in time with the music I pushed, and the overhead point failed. She flew. They flew. They flew into the air, and fell out into the audience like a meteor.
I danced up to them, trying not to make it look like some sort of catastrophe that it was. And I checked in, are you okay? They said, yeah, what happened, I'm on the floor? “Yeah, yeah, you're on the floor.” And I was able to get them up, and we finished the show, and danced off stage, still following that rhythm.
Because sometimes, keeping that rhythm keeps some sort of sense of safety, even if we feel like the world is out of control. Let me bring some sort of rhythm to my life. They're okay.
And afterwards, I went up to the frame and thanked it so much for not failing a minute earlier, when my performance partner had been upside down. Because that would have been catastrophe.
Rhythm plays out in so many different ways in our life. And I ask you to stop and think, what are the rhythms of your life? What are your rituals? What are your habits? What are the habits that you've been caught inside? The habits that you're doing over and over and over again. And are they serving you?
And look at your sexuality, and consider whether the rhythms of your sex are serving you. Because sometimes they are serving us, and sometimes they're not. Sometimes they're just habits that need to be kicked.
The other form of percussion and impact play that I'm a big fan of, is punching, and kicking, and getting our bodies in full-on force, and pounding it out literally, as we're pounding it in.
I love as my knuckles push into tissue that is ready and willing. Pecs and asses and thighs. Avoiding spines and skulls, with few very rare exceptions, and those rare exceptions are not full force. Because we have to be aware, in all of these different forms of impact play, how it impacts our bodies, how it affects our bodies.
We learn safety, because just like it is with any art form, if we're ever going to break the rules, we have to know what the rules are to begin with. We have to understand the safety concerns of all of these different things. I have to be aware of joints and ligaments. I have to be aware, as the person punching, how to not hurt my own hand! How to deliver that blow without damaging myself.
I have to be aware of how these things are going to affect my partner's mind, their heart. Are they somebody who is a survivor of some sort of trauma in their past? And if so, how does our play affect them? This is not something that we can necessarily learn from listening to a podcast! Though I can tell you that hitting the neck - probably not a good idea. I can tell you that the kneecaps - not the best choice.
But at the end of the day, learning these things hands-on, with a mentor or a teacher - whether that mentor or teacher is in a dojo, is in a kickboxing class, or whether it's in the kink community - can give us some awareness, can give us something to learn from. Though at the end of the day, somebody in a dojo or a kickboxing class isn't probably teaching for the exact same reasons.
Learn. Develop your skills. Start out slow. And remember that the slow punch [punches surface three times, rhythmically]... caressingly, on someone's chest, beating [punch] out [punch] that rhythm…can be pretty satisfying. Incredibly satisfying, in fact.
I remember a time when someone was beating… out… that rhythm… with their fists… on my chest… in time… with… the music of a dance club.
That story that I told? In the Path of Rhythm in my book Sacred Kink? All of those stories in that book come with truth of myself, or others. The Path of Rhythm draws to me and calls to me. It evokes, for me, passion - because I think it's one of the first things we encounter in kink. So many of us, whether it's with music, or whether it's with some sort of other passion, whether it's with flogging or fucking, we find that Path of Rhythm first.
And I am truly looking forward to when I get to introduce, in February in California, my Sacred Kink Intensive, three amazing immersive days of learning about sacredness, and intention, and connection, and passion, and power, and how it interrelates with our kinky sexuality.
And there's going to be a chunk of it about rhythm, and how it ties in with breath, and how it ties in with connection, and how it ties in to altered states of consciousness. And looking at working… in time… with music… and how we [speaks quickly] double up the beat, double up the beat… how we work off-beat. Because sometimes when we work off-beat, it's some pretty powerful 201 stuff.
But looking at how we work with rhythm and asking… will you follow me?
[song: “Firebird’s Child” by S.J. Tucker - bridge section, vocals alternating with drumbeats, handclaps joining in]
Lee:
Thank you, fellow adventurers of sexuality and spirit for joining me. This has been Erotic Awakening with Lee Harrington, and the music has been brought to you by the fantastic S.J. Tucker of SkinnyWhiteChick.com.
Until next time, stay cool, have fun, be authentically you, and have a fantastic journey.
I look forward to talking to you all on my website, PassionAndSoul.com, or you can find me at PassionAndSoul on FetLife, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, DeviantArt, and just about anywhere else on the Internet.
Have a delightful dance.
[music outro]