PS042 - First Steps and New Chapters

Apr 22

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Episode: https://shows.acast.com/660e243b2f834f0017de9181/episodes/660e2440acbcaf00174d9935

Welcome to the Passion And Soul Podcast!!

First kisses, first spicy sex, first times into new play. In the first official Passion and Soul Podcast after 41 episodes with Erotic Awakening, Lee Harrington explores these firsts and many more. Along the way we look into negotiation styles, anal sex, sharing desires, trying things again, handcuffs, and not having new firsts wash away old pasts. Welcome to the new podcast, the next chapter!

[music intro]
Announcer:
BDSM and non-standard relationships, power exchange and polyamory, sacred sexuality and fetishes, as well as Simply Fun Kink.

You're listening to the Erotic Awakening Podcast Network.

Welcome to The Passion And Soul Podcast, an exploration of personal and interpersonal desire, faith and connection.

Your host, international sexuality and spirituality author and educator, Lee Harrington of passionandsoul.com will take you on a sultry and intellectual journey through the soul of intimate experience.

Take a moment and breathe deep, and get ready for an adventure.

This podcast is a chance to glimpse into the ever increasing diverse world of alternative life.

The Passion And Soul Podcast is intended for mature audiences.

If you are offended by adult topics or prohibited by law, we recommend you stop listening right now.

Lee:
Hello, fellow adventurers of sexuality and spirit, and welcome to the very first Passion And Soul Podcast with Lee Harrington.

It's been a delight to appear monthly on Erotic Awakening, collaborating with Dan and Dawn for an amazing 41 episodes.

And it's hard to even believe that it's been 41 episodes, but it's time for a new chapter.

It's a new adventure, and I'm excited that you get to join me on this journey.

Looking back, it's been really neat that I've been part of the Erotic Awakening podcast for this long.

And the 41 is not including those interviews back in 2009 and 2010 that they did with me, but the Erotic Awakening podcast is spreading out into this empire of information, and I'm glad to be a part of that expansion.

If you've been listening to Erotic Awakening for a while, you'll have been part of that roller coaster of going from Dan and Dawn's conversational and interview style to Beric and Sheba's entertainment and delight, to my philosophy and sensuality and sometimes more academic approach.

And you know what?

By opening up this single podcast into a full network, you're going to get a chance to subscribe to the podcasts you want and whose styles you personally connect to.

And personally, as a listener, I really appreciate that.

I've been told by a number of fans that it can be jarring to one week, expect one thing and get something else and week to week, or even if you're downloading a whole bunch at once, to have that be a little bit jarring.

So by opening up that podcast, we're going to get to do something new and turn into that full network.

And my own podcast is going to continue to be that thoughtful, emotional, connecting journey and excitement that's going to take us through a wide variety of topics.

And my hope is to bring back some more interviews and to dive into those topics we have not yet approached while also revisiting past ones from a new angle.

Through the past three years and then some, we've had a opportunity to look at everything from transgender identity to power exchange relationships, age-based role playing to personal divinity, community history to rote bondage and a lot more.

And so to listen to those past episodes, please go and check out the various links and options for exploration in the show notes.

I always make sure to have thorough show notes whenever I can so you have a chance to explore more on your own.

Or you could also just visit my website at passionandsoul.com and click on the podcast button.

You can also subscribe via our RSS feed, iTunes, or download the MP3s by visiting those show notes as well.

So since this is the first episode of The Passion And Soul Podcast, I would like to start out by talking about firsts, right?

Talking about new things.

Those first kisses, the first time coming into kink, first time doing something with a new lover.

But like this podcast, I want to acknowledge that it's not really a first time.

You know, it's a continuation of our past as well.

And sometimes that gets forgotten.

That when we had a first kiss, we didn't suddenly become a new person.

We didn't start an entirely new life.

We started the next chapter or had a little blip or a little spark inside the chapter we were in.

It might be something new.

It might be a first, but it's not the same first as we sometimes tell our stories of.

My first kiss happened back when I was a chubby little girl.

For those who don't know, I'm a female to male transsexual who lived the first 25 years of my life as a woman, and now live full time as a man.

And that journey is a separate one that you can go and listen to some of some of the pieces on that on my earlier podcasts, as well as on other podcasts I've appeared on.

And I was a chubby little girl who was a total nerd.

I had braces that had been cranked out so much that I had a, I was actually using the braces to close up a gap between my front teeth that was the size of a pencil, maybe a little larger like the width of a pencil.

And I was in advanced math and I loved science, and I hung out with all the other high IQ kids.

And I, when it was hours that I'd stayed after school, for example, for math team, I would have to ride the public bus home.

So I had this one route that I rode all the time in Bellevue, Washington, and there was this other cute boy of a similar age, maybe a little bit older, who and cute in the night, you know, looking back on it, he probably wasn't some sort of looker or anything.

But yeah, it felt good.

Like, you know, that little bit of flirting that turned into a little bit of conversation.

And one day we got off the bus together and decided to go to a public park and we ended up sitting down behind a tree and kissing, you know, it was unmatched and uneven and certainly not the thing out of storybooks.

But it was a kiss and it was fun and awkward and kind of painful because of the braces and afterwards I recall us walking like we made out for a little bit and we were walking away and this other group of boys ended up mocking and laughing at us and it was not in a ha ha kind of thing like they were calling really mean names to me.

And so, you know, a while later, you know, I don't remember if he and I ever got together again.

But, you know, a couple months later when I had somebody else that I was flirting with and we decided to kiss, it was a lot more satisfying.

And years later, I remember that I was exploring with a little bit of sexual spiciness.

And the first time we tried to play around with clothes pins on my body, it just wasn't good.

Like, he ended up pinching the tips of my skin.

And so it ended up being that sharp little bite that was completely accidental on his part.

But it just wasn't good.

It just wasn't good, but luckily, a while later, we decided to play again and went, you know what, let's try this again, because there had been a few clothes pins that were good.

And so we figured out what was different.

And what was different is that instead of just grabbing a couple millimeters of skin, we ended up clamping down a good inch beyond the skin and having it tighten down there.

And it became a satisfying sensation going on.

And as clothes pins do, it became painful coming off because that pressure was on there for an extended period of time, and the circulation returned to that area of the body.

So it was painful, but it didn't have that nip.

It didn't have that suffering experience, because we were willing to try it again.

Just like trying that first kiss that didn't work out so well, we try it again.

I've talked to a lot of people who have had this issue or this challenge, where the first time they had anal sex, for example, they didn't know to use lube.

Lube is your friend.

If I could give you only one advice for the future, lube would be it, right?

It's my version of to the class of 1999.

Instead of saying use sunscreen, my advice is use lube.

There are very few times in life where too much lube is a problem.

And there's a story out there for some people who naturally produced lubricants in their various orifices that there's somehow something wrong with them if they don't naturally produce enough lubricant.

And that's not true.

People have days where they produce more, days where they produce less, and there are certainly certain orifices like the anal region that don't produce natural lubrication.

Now, I know a handful of folks who think that it's incredibly hot to have that friction, that tearing, that intense sensation, that soreness, or even the fissures that come up afterwards.

I do know people who are into it.

But I would just challenge folks that if your anal explorations didn't work out so well, try lube.

Could be a silicone lubricant that stays around for a long time afterwards and works for an extended period.

It could be a water-based lubricant that sucks up into the skin and needs reapplication, but some people consider more natural.

If it's anal sex, i.e.

not vaginal or frontal sex, but if it's anal sex and you're with a fluid-bonded person, or a rounded partner, oil-based lubricants can be an option.

And I mentioned that because oil-based lubricants can break down condoms and with silicone-based lubricants, it can slowly deteriorate silicone dildos and whatnot.

So some people prefer not to use those unless they put a condom on their silicone toys.

I mentioned this because why give up?

If you've had one bad time of something doesn't mean that experience should be written off entirely unless no, really, you either had a traumatic experience and it might not be a good time to come back to that activity.

Or if you had an allergic reaction, if you honestly deeply, deeply didn't just dislike, but hated a sensation, you don't have to go back.

Nobody needs to tell you that, Oh, you know, you didn't give polyamorous dynamics and an open relationship a good try last time.

Let's do it again.

No, really, you're allowed to lay down your own hard lines.

It's okay.

You're allowed to have whatever your limits are.

But sometimes it's a physical activity.

It's possible that it just wasn't done well.

Another first time that came up for me was the first time I got to have an active, kinky experience with my first boyfriend who ended up becoming my first master, my first non-egalitarian relationship.

When he and I met each other, it was one of those, oh, flirty, sexy, like, not just that, but like, full on hormones raging teenager experiences.

And he'd been kinky before, and I'd had fantasies about kink, because I read a magazine that was in my father's closet of porn that had some really hot stories in them.

Specifically, you know, stories about being held down, stories about having mouths and whatnot all over my body, stories of wax being dripped on that didn't burn the person underneath, stories of latex, like there are some hot concepts out there.

And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's a good time.

And so when I met this boy, and he said that it could be really fun to like hold me down, I was like, bring it on.

That sounds great.

Let's do it.

That was supposed to be our first time with kinky sex.

And instead, here was somebody who said, I want you to consent to what we're going to do.

Let's agree to do this.

It triggered some stuff for me.

And he spent most of that night just holding me and telling me that life was okay, and that I was going to be okay.

And that meant a lot to me.

So sometimes when we as individuals intend to do something, I loved the fact that this boy, this man, this person becoming a man, right?

Depending on where you are in your teens, as two teenagers exploring the fact that he just held me and said, it's okay.

We don't have to do this tonight.

There's nothing wrong with doing this later or not doing it at all was really meaningful for me.

And I've tried to carry that forward in my own sexual evolution.

That that when we are obsessed, when we are obsessed with tonight, tonight we have to go out and have that gangbang that we've been planning for the last, you know, three months, we have to do it.

If we're not ready for it in that moment, you know what?

It can be tough.

It can be really tough because we spent all that time planning and we've gotten excited.

Or if my partner didn't know I really wanted to do something, but in my head, I've built it up.

It can be tough to let go of that expectation.

But when we let go of our expectation, there's an opportunity for surprise and delight.

Now again, just like that loop thing, just like the, you know, just like that it could have been done wrong thing.

There are times when we need to remember not to let go of expectations so much that we set no expectations.

I was talking to a woman in her 60s recently, and she said if I could do anything over again in my life, I would have made more dreams for myself so that I would have gone after them.

And that was so profound to hear.

Because here I am in my mid 30s, and now I'm thinking about what dreams do I want to set?

Where do I want to go in my life?

And where do I want to expend my energy?

Because she rolled from thing to thing.

And I think some of us roll from thing to thing without saying, this is what I want.

We say that, you know, whatever you want to do tonight, honey.

And we do it again and again and again.

So consider for yourself with the journeys you are taking.

As I am considering for myself with the journeys I am taking, where where do we embrace and dive after and pour in our heart, our soul, our spirit, our deliciousness into the things that actually matter, finding things that actually matter.

Because we deserve to dive in fully into things that actually matter.

Now, when that boy and I finally did get to explore one another, we worked with what we had at hand, right?

We had garage store supplies, and we had two pairs of handcuffs that were cheap, but painful because you could ratchet them down.

And the problem, there's a lot of problems with handcuffs.

I've got to throw it out that, yeah, they can be sexy, they can be fetish, they can be hot, they're great for role playing.

But handcuffs, the cheaper ones, they can keep getting tighter and tighter because there's that click, click, click.

And if I'm struggling, I could keep accidentally clicking myself and cut into my skin, cause damage, or I can leave such painful marks that they can last for an extended period of time.

I had some of those marks last days and leave mild bruises that lasted a week and a half, two weeks.

Good handcuffs, when they go on, have a second keyhole that you're able to pop through on one side.

You'll see the keys have a key end and a little pin end, and the pin goes into that little tiny hole and clicks it from getting any tighter.

And so when you're done with the handcuff, you unpop the pin, unlock, and you're able to open the whole thing up, or in some cases, just unlock and it pops itself back to being in its original place.

I really recommend that if you're exploring with handcuffs, that you invest in something worthwhile.

Now, if you're having a little bit of hanky panky, and you're someone who enjoys a little bit of adding just a sliver of spice into your sexual explorations, go for the cheap ones, have a little bit of fun.

It's okay.

I'm not going to tell you that something is wrong.

It's like playing with rope bondage, and people say, oh, you've got to invest in really good rope.

You know what?

If you're having fun once in a while, it's really okay to go to Home Depot or whatnot, and just buy the 100 foot pack of sailing rope, cut it into quarters, burn the ends so that they don't melt, and just have fun tying up someone's wrists, tying them down to a bed.

And if you want to know how to do those things quick and easy, my YouTube channel has a wrist cuff that's pretty quick and easy, as does twistedmonk.com, and I'll post those too in the notes.

In that first round of sexual exploration and fun in a kinky, way, I was also really glad that that he and I had access to condoms as teenagers because this was the era of AIDS, right?

This was when we are as teenagers, sex was killing people.

And some places around the world, including in the United States, Canada, and in general, the Western world, it's still killing, right?

And this is being forgotten by folks nowadays that we have STDs flying around, and I'm not meaning that as a you should never have sex kind of way.

But we've got, you know, antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea happening right now, right when quote gonorrhea wasn't that big of a deal.

There is Hepatitis C, which is far more of a concern than HIV, which is not to say that HIV is not horrible.

The flip side being that condoms, a lot, even though condoms are not 100% perfect, condoms allows for people who are challenged by or living with various forms of sexually transmitted infection or disease, are able to still have a functioning and thriving sex life.

I find it offensive, profoundly offensive, when people say, oh, you know, these are my safer sex practices because I make the assumption that everyone has something.

And then they find out that someone has Hep C, HIV, et cetera, and says, oh, but I can't have sex with you.

If your practices state that I assume everyone has everything, why is your behavior changing?

If you're concerned that maybe your practices weren't firm enough, firm them up across the board.

Because if somebody has the ethics to say, this is what I'm living with, I would actually think that they are being more responsible of people and have a higher likelihood of being honest humans.

I'm not saying that people are dishonest, but there are people who are dishonest.

Or there are people who are scared, scared to share what's going on in their lives because of stigma, because of being ostracized, because of being told that they're bad because of how their life is.

Now, this can also apply when coming in to kink communities for the first time.

I've met people, especially older folks, who come into the kink community and are afraid to say, actually, I don't know how to do that thing.

Because if they're older, clearly they should know how to do this stuff.

Or I've met people who get judged by their toy bag, that they might have just bought some really beautiful floggers, who might have a delightful collection of dildos, who might have an amazing selection of shackles, but who are new?

Just because someone is of a certain age or someone dresses a specific way or has a specific collection of toys, doesn't mean that they're experienced.

And the flip side is true.

If somebody shows up completely casually, has no toys or some homemade toys that are kind of, you know, half-made and is young, doesn't mean they don't have a lot of experience.

And that can be confusing coming into a kink community or coming into a new sexuality population in general.

I remember when I was brand new to coming into alt-sex populations because I'd been exploring with partners for a few years, but, you know, in those teenage years.

And so I came in with some knowledge of techniques, but I remember showing up.

And I was at Beyond The Edge Cafe in Seattle, Washington, which was run by Elena and was this beautiful space that upstairs was a kink-friendly and alt-community-friendly cafe that made, oh, my God, amazing chili.

Oh, my God, so amazing.

Did I mention it was great chili?

Anyway, and downstairs had a small play space that you could probably have about two scenes at a time in.

And at night, on Friday nights, or maybe it was Saturday nights, they closed down the main cafe and they made sure that they had somebody at the door, people signed, you know, to be able to get in, et cetera.

And I was there one night early on, I think it was like maybe my second time.

And I was upstairs and there was a mild spanking happen because they asked that extreme scenes happen downstairs, like single tales and whatnot.

And there was a spanking happening upstairs.

And so I and the guy I was there with decided to watch.

And in the middle of the scene, the woman who was being spanked said a word.

I don't remember what it was.

Maybe it was red.

Maybe it was asparagus.

I have no idea.

But she said a word and the man who was spanking her stopped.

Now, I was confused.

I was kind of like, I don't know what just happened.

And so I asked someone, what just happened there?

And they said, well, you've been doing kink for a while.

You should, you know, it was a safe word.

And I'm like, oh, a safe word.

Absolutely.

What do you mean by that?

Because I had shame, right?

I had shame that I didn't know what a safe word was.

And they said, well, a safe word is where somebody says something and it means that the bottom needs to check in because either they hurt too much or they're having an emotional issue or whatever it might be.

And I went, oh, yeah, absolutely a safe word.

But inside my head, I was blown away, absolutely blown away because in my explorations thus far up to that point, excuse me, up to that point, I had been told that bottoms, submissives, slaves submitted to whatever the dominant partner wanted because that's what submission is.

It is handing over everything.

It is trusting the other person with everything.

And in that moment, I was blown away.

So keep that in mind that when you go into new sexuality populations, there will be new things that come up.

And so for example, I went from the BDSM population when I was in London over there for university, and I was a dungeon monitor.

And when I was there, a dungeon monitor or a dungeon crew meant that we set up and tore down the equipment.

It meant that if we saw somebody finishing up a scene, we quietly set a glass of water near them.

And if we saw a bottom having a freak out kind of thing and the top couldn't see, we would kind of catch the top's eye subtly and kind of let them know.

Like we'd point at like we'd like kind of catch their eyes and we'd point at their bottom and show the face, right of like, okay, you might want to check in with them.

Our job was also that if nobody wanted to be the first kids on the dance floor, we would draw straws and we would go and have a good time, whoever, you know, so that somebody else because sometimes nobody wants to be the first person spanking in the dungeon.

This so I did that as compared to going to Floating World in New Jersey.

And there are dungeon monitors in like neon green vests who are reinforcing the rules of the space, who are telling tops to end spaces and their scenes, not always as elegantly as they could.

And they're supposed to patrol and go around to see if things are safe scenes.

It's different approaches.

The second one is really great if you have a whole lot of new players because they're able to feel safe and they're able to have someone be like, Hey, you might not want to do that thing.

You might drop somebody on their head over a concrete floor and we have to clean that up.

So, it's said playfully, right?

So there's that differences from location to location or time period to time period.

Also differences in subcultures.

So, in the BDSM community, it's not unusual for somebody, especially if it's a first time, to sit down and negotiate and have a formal sit down, right?

Where it's like, okay, I'm into this, you're into that.

Of one through five, I think spankings are a four, but you think it's a two.

How can we meet on this?

What about spankings?

Isn't hot?

There's a lot of verbal negotiation in first time encounters.

But when I went to Swinger Parties and when I talked with people in the Swinger community, negotiation is often more nonverbal, right?

It's somebody scooting a little bit closer on the couch and then maybe resting a hand on your knee or near your knee.

And if you don't move away, or even, actually I should say especially if you lean back in, that hand slides up to your thigh, which might then slide up to your crotch.

And your hand then comes up to their torso and it's expected that you use your nose instead of necessarily giving your yeses.

Now, there are some swinger populations where it is yes, actively required period.

But there are others where it's we let our bodies do our talking for us.

Note how these are very different things.

And I've met people who are based in the swinger culture, who come into an SM party and might might come up to somebody and maybe have their flogger and kind of tap it and kind of swing it against somebody's thigh.

And that person who just got hit is profoundly offended.

Person number one thinks they're being playful.

Oh, this is going to be a first time.

Let's flirt non verbally.

It'll be sexy and fun.

And for person number two, it's you just violated my consent.

You just went over a boundary and you're not a good person to play with and I don't trust you because if you did this before we even negotiated, what could happen?

It makes it tricky for those first times to figure out what's going to work for each of us in our communication styles.

Personally, I gauge by the venue I'm in.

What are the rules of this culture?

And if you're not sure on this stuff and you're trying to negotiate the kink communities for the first time of a variety of types, Melina Williams and I actually wrote a book a little while back called Playing Well With Others, which is exactly about this topic and I'll mention that in the notes.

Now remember, something new doesn't have to be with a new person.

It can be with a partner we're already with.

I recently found out in with my partner that that she's actually really in to knife play.

And I'd never known that, like it hadn't come up in our conversations.

We've been doing a lot of rope bondage, caning, flogging, spanking.

We've done a lot of stuff of other categories, but the topic hadn't really come up.

I've seen her see some scenes that involve knife play and be like, oh, that's kind of hot.

But I didn't know that she it was something that she's done in the past.

So she and I haven't done it together.

I know she's done it.

I know I've done it.

But one of the things that I'm going to be doing with her is asking what kind of knife play is hot for you.

I might ask that, but I'm also going to be exploring kinesthetically.

That once I know some of the things that are hot for you or why it's hot for you, I'm going to start out simple, easy, scraping across her skin, dragging an edge, dragging the back of a knife, and then see how maybe a tip is making sure in some cases to pin her down so that she doesn't buck against it.

And also seeing what does she move into?

What does she move away from?

Because again, one of the challenges with negotiation is that for some people, it works really, really well to go through those 17-page checklists.

For other people, kinesthetic work, like I was talking about with the swinger style negotiation, works better.

So knowing your partner in which way they communicate information is really useful.

I also like debriefing after a scene.

Sometimes, sometimes a while later, right?

And sometimes later that night.

And it can be something like, you know, what could I do better?

How was that for you?

But I'm also a fan of what can we do next time?

Or if it wasn't that good, maybe move into something that wasn't that good in that moment, move into something that is sexy.

Okay, that canning didn't work out so well.

Let's move this into cuddling.

Let's move this into making out.

Let's move this into some sort of sex that we like.

Let's move this into a different kind of kink that we like.

Let's finish out the night with something yummy.

We could also be trying to bring up a new activity with someone who we've been with for ages, and that can sometimes be scary.

I've had times where I was really into a specific fetish, and I was scared to mention that to someone because it was a silly fetish.

It's a fetish for sweaters.

That isn't necessarily my big thing anymore, but it's something that still comes up from time to time.

But at the time, it was a really big thing.

And so saying to my boy at the time that I really wanted him to wear a sweater and be more preppy was hard to say because I was afraid that since he was more of a down thug kind of like leather boy kind of presenting person that he'd think it was weird and silly.

Even though he was my boy, right?

We were in a power exchange dynamic, but I still had that fear that concern that he'd think I was weird.

And I've met some people who are concerned that oh, this thing is so weird that my partner won't know what to do with me won't know how to treat me.

It won't be the same afterwards.

Now if that's the case, I'm a big fan of planting seeds, right?

If what's really hot for you is the idea of being restrained, maybe having a movie where some sort of restraint is in place and see how your partner reacts during it.

Or afterwards asking questions like, oh, we watched The Secretary.

What did you think about that contraption she had where she had to move around with that?

What are your thoughts on it?

Or saying, I thought that was actually a kind of cool thing.

What about you?

Depending on how vulnerable you're feeling.

Now, if the person says, I think that was totally weird, etc.

That could be, I'm never going to bring that up with them.

Or it can be an opportunity for dialogue of, what about it was weird?

Or, huh, because I've seen stuff like that, and I think it's just interesting that people are into that stuff and turn it third person.

Much like I know people who aren't out in various sexuality populations or spiritual populations, people who are pagan but aren't out about it at work because they're concerned about how their workplace will respond.

That what they'll do is activism from within a place of being not out, not sharing their personal journey, but around the water cooler if somebody brings up a joke about, oh, I can't believe that that's how, you know, I can't believe that that that there's weird cults out there who worship Odin and etc.

etc.

That might say, huh, you know what?

If that's going to be what gives them emotional satisfaction and helps them find a healthier life that they're inspired by, I don't mind it, that's their life, their journey.

It could plant a seed of this isn't that bad of a thing.

And even if that's the seed that ends up getting planted in a partner who isn't open to hearing something right now, that's a step in the good direction.

It's a step in a healthy direction.

And baby steps.

Sometimes it's about baby steps, which also means if your partner finally says, Yeah, you know what?

I'm game.

I'm game to, you know, try something where some sort of restraint was involved.

I think I'd be okay with trying that out.

That is not the day to go out and spend a thousand dollars in heavy metal equipment and lay it all out for them.

That can be overwhelming.

And if they finally took that beautiful, amazing, loving baby step, if they just took that step away to show a loved one that you value, that baby step is to help them take the next baby step or to take the next baby step with them.

Instead of leaping across the canyon and say, Come on, you said you'd be willing to jump two feet.

Why can't you jump this giant place?

If they just offered that chance for a spanking, why lay out 30 tools when you could say, Hey, here's a paddle and here's a pair of sexy gloves that you can put on.

Let's put on some nice music.

I appreciate that you did this.

And at the end of it or during it, instead of saying you did it wrong, saying, Wow, that was really fun to get to try something for a first time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Next time, if we do it, it'd be really fun if we could also aim more towards the bottom of my butt right at that edge of the sweet spot, because when you hit that, that really worked for me.

That plants a seed of, Oh, that was really hot for them.

And if it's a partner who's been with you for a while, I bet there's a high likelihood that they want to go back to something that's hot, that something that's sexy, something that will dive you both deeper.

First times are an opportunity, and they are also a chance to go further in your life.

They are a chance to open up a new chapter, which means that we came with all of the beauty from the rest of our life.

If I'm entering the kink community for the first time, doesn't mean I switch off the wisdom from the last 40 years of my journey, or the last 20 years, or the last 70.

It means that I walk in with all of that knowledge for self protection and that knowledge for self exploration.

I walk in and I move forward.

It doesn't mean set it aside.

And just because I get turned on by something new doesn't mean I have to cast aside something else.

It's an opportunity for integration.

It's an opportunity to bring these things together.

And that is my hope.

Is that together as we journey forward with the Passion And Soul Podcast, is that we bring things together.

And I appreciate and say thank you.

Thank you for going on this journey with me.

My name is Lee Harrington, and you can find my work at passionandsoul.com.

Go ahead and subscribe to me on iTunes or going on my RSSS feed.

And we're going to be coming back with more material, more adventure together and journeying into depth, into connection and also into fun.

Let's talk about spirit.

Let's talk about joy.

Let's talk about love.

Let's talk about depth and fear and dreams.

And from here, step forward into our next chapter and our next day, fulfilled and inspired just a little bit more.

This has been The Passion And Soul Podcast, and until next time, stay cool, have fun, be authentically you, and embrace your dreams.

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